Planning to blog about the wonderful family barbecue and the sleepover with my girls but right now, I am so pissed and sad, I can't.
Because wonderful and pissed do not mix.
So instead of a post full of beautiful pictures and blah, I am going to scream here (or at least type in caps)
I just got my English results back. And I failed. FAILED. WHAT THE BLOODY SHIT.
Omg it sucks when I can't swear. I have to repeatedly chant to myself swearingisbadswearingisbad.
So yes, I failed English, the un-fail-able subject because I SPEAK IT EVERYDAY. HOW THE SHIT DID THIS HAPPEN.
And everyone's just like don't be sad don't be sad
I AM NOT SAD DUDE. I AM BEYOND SAD. IT'S ENGLISH. I FAILED ENGLISH. NOT BY A MEASLY 1 OR 2 MARKS BUT BY 4 BLOODY MARKS what the crap and to think I used to top the class.
I know you guys are probably thinking I failed because I was complacent after topping the class but NO MAN. It's summary. How am I suppose to study for it.
Any subject. Just any subject but English.
And mr Soh just had to go and read out the marks.
Talk about extreme humiliation. (and no I'm not blaming Mr Soh for reading the marks out because actually he's suppose to. I'm just pissed at myself so I phrased it kind of harshly)
I felt like I've let myself down.
And this is bloody gay but I feel like crying. Not even a nap can fix this.
So I'm just letting everything out here because if I don't, there's a high chance I'll punch someone till his face splits.
It's just that this subject is so important to me.. I can't believe I let this happen.
I know I'll work harder next time but right now, thinking about that doesn't even help. All I can think of is how stupid it is to fail something that means so much to me. If there's one subject I'm always proud of acing, it's English.
This feeling of letting myself down just sucks tremendously. I feel horrible.
I guess there's no point wallowing in self-pity but I know this shitty feeling stay rooted deep in my gut until I take another English exam. And ace it.
